Anonymous Story

When I was in elementary school, I was a self-acclaimed tomboy. I only wore boy’s clothes and never brushed my hair, and I prided myself on being “different” from the rest of the girls. Despite this, I never thought about the possibility of being a part of the LGBTQ community until the end of eighth grade. My realization process was gradual, and at first, I didn’t want to accept that this may have been a part of my identity. I began to identify as bisexual with a preference for men, but the more I thought about it, I realized I never really saw myself being comfortable in a relationship with a man in the first place. Eventually, I started my journey from labeling as bisexual to lesbian. I told myself that if I was bisexual, I still had a chance at a “normal” relationship with a man. I could tell my parents that I still had a chance to be the person they’d always expected me to be. When I finally started to accept myself as a lesbian, I knew it was time to tell my parents. With my mom, I wasn’t worried; she’s always been a very accepting person and loved me no matter what. When I told her, she smiled and said, “okay, thanks for telling me,” which, personally, is the best response I could ask for. With my dad, I was a little more nervous. In the past, he’s said some pretty homophobic stuff, like how he wanted “a normal family” and that being gay “wasn’t intended by god.” I always got defensive when he said things like this, trying to change his mind before he eventually found out that I was a part of the community he seemed so opposed to. When I decided it was time to tell him, it was shocking how accepting he was. I realized that his comments were more out of ignorance than out of actual hatred, and he would accept his kids under any circumstances. It was incredibly relieving to be able to share something with him that I’d been keeping a secret, and it also gave me the opportunity to feel more comfortable regarding my relationship with my dad after I knew he would always accept me and my identity. :)